Heart Beat

Why does my heart feel like its been put together with super glue that dissolved when my tears dripped over it zizzling my heart to pieces. These fuckin tears burned as they ran down my facial, leaving me with permant scars on my cheeck bones once u made my eyes fill with tears that I couldnt hold frm flowing down my chin drippin down to my chest these tears fell buring a hole thru to my heart dissolving my super glue.

I thought I was thru!!! Her love reminds me of you. Not becuz ur once shallow love was anything close to what she offers but becuz I wonder why she cant be you or better yet why you cant be her? I see myself going thru this pattern of hurt and I just cant do it anymore.. I cant let her ... her love me how she does so openly. Cuz your love taught me thats not how love is supposed to be.

Where's the intensity if no names have been yelled from across the street? "where are u going?!? Come back to me!" Or if no shoving matches and shake up's are there to assure u that its real u do feel something Kree.

So I ponder on ways to bring her close to me and than reject her love in the very same moment she says " I love you baby" *eyes wide open* Yeah thats what she once said to me!
I gotta get my heart out of my minds places cuz the 2 are never on the same page. I am going insane and I am draggin my heart thru the pain!

Tell me does love age? Cuz I been searching for an experation date so I can let you go and through you away and love myself again so that when she wants to love me I cant let her in! You killing me!! My soul was brought to life when I ment her. Than it died when I realized I was scared to love her..

She told me that my slow heart beat makes her think and I said Im just being cautious baby thats all it means. Than my shoulders shrink and my head hung low cuz Im growing to fall inlove with her pussy and leave her heart alone! Than I wont have to worry If her heart beat is fast or slow...

My KreeAtive Costume

My 2009 Costume as OCTOMOM!!!!

I see my life being artistically painted thru ur words.
Lyrically formatted frm experiences u been thru and feel.
And like lauren ur "killing me softly" but though lyrically ur brilliant y b so ignorant to what lays infront of u?
Heart exposed, flip thru it like an open book.
But u hated school.
So u skimmed thru only reading up on what interest u.
Bet u failed ur reading and comprehension test.
I studied u and watch ur every move.
Knew when ur smile was really a cry.
And when u crying thru ur lyrics was ur joy cuz misery loves company.
(I met u.) Get it? I doubt it.

Fuk Luv
Current mood: bored
Category: Writing and Poetry

I posted sticky notes all over my inner me.
[Heart]- dnt let her enter!! she won't know wat to do wit. I shoulda listened.
[Right side of my brain]- dnt relate to her cuz soon ur poems will be all about her.

Now I find everything I write refers back to u. 2 outta 2 im losing... shall I continue.
Get my drift. I let u in. Fuck it!

Middle finger in the air same 1 I fucked u with.
Catch ur nutt.
Drip down my hand as I make ＬöＶë to u with my middle finger in u...

Sayin Fuck ＬöＶë!
My ＬöＶë forever dis-owne's u.

So I placed my tongue on u...
ate thru u..
Layer by layer...
tasted the bitter and sour layers..
How many licks til I get 2 where the real u shines thru?
Soft and sweet never happened so its back to my middle finger as I fucked ＬöＶë into u.

Isn't that the same finger u used to fuck me 2?

untitled oct. 6th 09

As I grew up with so much anger they always told me to OPEN my eyes to the brighter side. "Ppl want to be nice to you Kree" (yeah right) assuming the worst at all times. Telling me Im causing my own SELF DESTRUCTION. Key word. Self.

But Eff U! Shit if only u knew. Fuck the ones who I gave my heart to. Regret? Neva. But go backwards? Neva. "If I could take it all back I neva would. Had u not of brought me to this heartache I might not have learned." Cuz what I did to them came back around and that shit hurt.

I was dealt my cards that were full of Jokers, Jacks and Queens. My hand wasnt dealt with Kings. So I guess the Jokers are where most of u fit in and also the part of my life that covers my pain and frm the Jacks I let into my life who came and left after they yelled out my name when it felt good and when they needed Kree to help keep them sane. N when u foe's smiled in my face but only came around cuz my struggles made ur's seem easier. I found a card in the deck was a 3 of hearts for each love I experienced with Him, Her and my now Queen.

I know if we learn to open our minds so will our hearts at the point where anyone is someone we can learn from. So far Im learning to take responsibility for my failures instead of pointing the finger. I sang songs in my head dreaming of a love to come 2 me and neva let go.

I listened to ppl try to "kreeate" lyrics to a soundtrack of my life as if I dnt fuck know. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I opened my heart to past loves like and open book, exposing what I thought they'd take into consideration for the walls that have over the years formed around my heart. (i started wearing long sleeves)

I fell and I got back up faster than u thought cuz I'd be damned if I let u kick me while I was down. I painted a mask on my face in different shades and became a chameleon. Blending in with whatever crowd I was placed in cuz I was scared to stand out avoiding attention. Wore sun glasses to avoid eye contact.

Was handed a camera to snap shots of picture perfect families into my memory 2 understand for my unborn child what a family was supposed to be. But that shit made me angery. Thats when I said fuck it! Ill just learn to better my poetry and hope that I'll have something to go back and read as I work on me!

Private thoughts

(sings) "I'll always thinkg of u inside of my private thoughts. The very thought of u makes me wanna get undressed. I wanna be with u inspite of what my heart says"

- Man aint that the truth! What I would give for 1 more chance at romance. Thoughts of u having ur hand gulide across my thigh as u reach behind my neck than into my pants, pulling me in tight and im holding ur heart once again in my hands.

U can leave the relationship but nooo baby!! Not the sex! Lets admit we can still do it, I mean who has to know? Its not the sex that didnt workout. It was the relationship! SHIT!!!

Please excuse my private thoughts, i mean im taken ur taken. But, fuck who cares?? LEts just be naked. Yeah I said it! Cuz I usually always think of u inside of my private thoughts. Find myself wanting to go on walks just so that i can let my mind run loose with thoughts of u.

Imagining u walking along side me. Dang I miss u baby. Aint it something how no amount of words can take us back to where we used to be and no amount of explaining will really say what u really mean. So I imagine..

I let my mind do wat it does best... think! If I close my eyes ur beautiful face I can visualize n at times my mind does cross lines and I see how our bodies used to fit together.

But I refuse to be a female wishing on a star, or allowing myself to lose my sanity. So i dust this off, its just a feeling!! Nevermind my private thoughts!!!

time wasted

7 yrs and this is how u go about things.. 7 yrs of feelings.. 7 yrs of time wasted. All that for nothing? I paid u respect thru all ur little phases. Patiently waited. Not even enough decentcy to call and tell me? Every1 but me knew.. It wasnt even u who told finally told me. Sure we had out ups and downs. Yes we've had chances with others and even almost did. Time waits for no1 isnt that wat u said? Guess u ment it. So many times we drifted. I found a love or two but so did u. Back in each others lives. We had the chance. Take it slow is wat i told u. But all that talk was just that!! I wasnt ready my heart was still hurting. And u took that wound and cut it deeper! U say I havent Changed. But Nigga, ur the Playa. Better her than me!! (now she has ur baby)

U & Me Nomore

I blamed u 4 breaking a heart that was never whole.

I came to u with holes so deep u should of seen straight to my soul.

Had fresh stab wounds still open on my back.

U reached with ur hand and I reached back.

We traveled up and down memory lane never really forgiving the ones who caused us this pain. So we accepted love at our convience and rejected it just as easily.

What were we looking for? qualities in each other the other was searching for.

Strength in different areas.

My weakness's ur strengths and ur weakness's my strength.

Truth is we're only as strong as we handle each situation.

Bcuz u neva know how strong u are til strong is what u gotta b!

Spent days and nights searchin. lurkin. inlove but not with the right person.

How do we know what a perfect match is if no1's perfect?

Sharing similar pain became conflict of interest.

Why did we rush into this? I love u.. I love u 2 but wats love?

We had no clue! wat do we do?

Bcuz my hearts in pieces and I still want to try but I was clearly over looking the obvious.

U fell in love with weed well I was looking for a natural high.

U dwelled in pain well i was trying to forgive myself and looked for bettered days.

U fell for him.

I fell for her.

Friends we cant be nomore!

2 YR ANNIVERSARY 9/7/09

DANG THIS GIRL
SHE GOT ME SITTING BACK ASKING MY SELF HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED.
LIKE BRITTANY SPEARS TALKING TO MYSELF LIKE OOOOPPS I DID IT AGAIN!
LETTING GO MARY J'S "MY WHOLE WORLDS UPSIDE DOWN"
SINGING DEBRAH COX "HOW DID U GET HERE?"
BUT ON SOME REAL SHIT!
"IT WAS PAIN B4 PLEASURE."
FLAWS AND ALL! "IM A TRAIN WRECK IN THE MORNING, A BITCH IN THE AFTERNOON, WHEN I NEED ATTENTION I TEND TO NAG"
YOU UNDERSTAND N THATS WHY I LOVE YOU.
BABY, TO ANSWER 50'S 21 QUESTIONS!?
YES, I WOULD! Y CUZ I SHOULD!
THIS AINT NO MUSHY LOVE POEM, JUST A LETTER FROM ME TO U!
LETTING U KNOW BABY IM THINKING OF YOU!
I ONCE WAS TOLD WHEN U LOVE SOMEONE LET THEM GO! BUT HELL NAH! I KEEP U CLOSE!

SEE I READ ON SOMEONES MYSPACE SOMETHING ABOUT SEARCHING THRU STONES TO FIND A DIAMOND,
WELL I SEARCHED THRU THEM AND LOVED ALONG THE WAY.
BUT I WAS LEAD STRAIGHT TO U!
SO NOW DO ME A FAVOR!
"LOVE ME LIKE U'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!'

i found my smile again when the look in your eyes mirrored the love i once gave being reflected back on me. Souls touched like perfect chemistry. Gray skies once tried to turn blue but the sun never shined thru. I found my smile again a hot summer day, sweat drippin down my face, i was scared to find real love. Cuz the last love was pain. I didnt wanna love again til u brought my smile back again!

This is old but hey Oldies but Goodies
Old loves make for good poetry lol


I was stuck...
stuck in some shit i never felt b4.
All I know is my heart kicked a million beats a minute,
my mind was spinning, my hands were shaking, my legs got weak.
Back to you I went for a recovery.
You were my remedy.
Addicted.
My drug of choice.
Cuz when you entered my life Aahhhaa what a high!
but nobody warned me that this high would wear off
and that an addiction would began.
Your kisses shot loves drug into me.
Contaminating my body with such a remarkable soothing sensatation.
Only allowing me to breathe and feel you.
An on going battle.
You were in full control.
How did I get to this point?
The cause and cure is you!
You were everything wrong for me that felt so right.
The way sociaty works is like.
Who takes to those with scars and battered hearts?
Weak ppl arent willing.
So instead we turned to each other.
Thinking we knew each other cuz our hearts yearned for the same humanly
love that the other craved yet lacking.
So naturally,
I clinged to you like a crackhead on crack.
And no baby dnt go just give me one more chance.
Like a crackhead begs for one last hit.
Now my world spinning cuz ur gone.
I beg u come back to sooth me.
How can this be?
I cant get over you if your the remedy I turn to for a brokenheart you shattered.
but than again NO dont go.
Just one more kiss so my body can feel that love drug u injected in me once b4.
Your my poison.
I cant take anymore!!
Cuz though you claim ur done u come back for more.
Like a dope dealer without its main customer!

Seeing Sounds album by N*E*R*D

Seeing Sounds album by N*E*R*D

Shared via AddThis

BABYGIRL WAS BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD ALREADY HAVING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON HER SHOULDERS.

A CRACK BABY RAISED BY OTHER MEMEBERS OF HER FAMILY OTHER THAN MOMMY AND DADDY.

FOLLOWING CLOSE IN THE FOOT STEPS OF HER MOTHER SHE NEVER EVEN KNEW.

SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE BORN DIDNT ASK TO BE ANOTHER CRACK BABY BROUGHT INTO SOCIETY.

BUT HANDLES THE WORLD JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE. TO THE BEST OF HER ABILITY. CRYIN OUT FOR THE LOVE AND AFFECTION SHE GRAVES YRT LACKIN. DISPITE HAVING ONE GOOD FRIEND, GRANDPARENTS AND A CLOSE COUSIN.

DADDY WASNT EVER MAN ENOUGH TO SHOW HER LOVE AND AFFECTION SO SHE LOOKS FOR LOVE IN OTHER MEN.

BUT SEE SHE'S BISEXUAL AND JUST LIKE HOW DADDY WASNT THERE.

GUESS WAT?

MOMMY WASNT.

SEE BABYGIRL TRYS HARD TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN JUST A CRACK BABY. GOING TO SCHOOL TO BECOME SOMETHING.

BUT STUCK ON SMOKIN THAT GREEN STUFF AND WALKS AROUND JUST LOOKIN FOR THAT DOE BOI THAT THUG MAKIN MONEY.

IT MAKES NO SINCE TO ME THAT SOMEONE WHO WANTs TO BECOME SOMETHING WOULD WASTE HER TIME ON A MONEY PHENE..

A CAR CRASH COULD OF ALMOST TOOK HER LIFE.

WOULDA DIED WITHOUT KNOWING THE WORTH OF HER OWN LIFE.

FINALLY THOUGHT SHE FOUND LOVE IN A MAN WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK.

WITH GRANDMA RAISING HER CRACK BABY GRANDCHILD THE BEST SHE CAN.

DIDNT EVEN REALIZE SHE PUSHED HER INTO THIS MAN.

WHO PRETENDED HIS HAND WAS A HELPIN HAND.

I HATE REFERING TO HER AS A CRACK BABY BCUZ BY DOING SO...

IM BEING JUST LIKE THE REST OF SOCIETY.

BUT U CANT EXCAPE THE FACT THAT ITS TRUE REALITY.

SEE CUZ THIS SHE IS A FEMALE...

A YOUNG LADY...

AND MY PUNK ASS FRIEND!!

WHO BY THE MISTAKES OF MOMMY WAS BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD ALREADY CARRYING THE WORLD ON HER SHOULDERS!

Title ME Happy!!!!

i been searching for a title to place on me..though i been living freely and open to the titles place on me.. but something tells me that ppl just cant exactly put a finger on me!

so read with ur minds open and carefully.. i was not place here on this earth to amaze u and be looked at as anything more than another outstanding human being! so why the fuck must u always try to title me...

if attracted to him or her whats it do u? guess the thought of not knowing has u wondering! "hey kree u are beautiful but i see u only like girls... are u bi sexual".. or the famous "hey kree, i see u have a girl... are u bi-sexual.. do u still like guys? how can i get in?" they act like im hurting there feelings! maybe i am!!

i guess no1 understands.. and is it my duty to explain my sexuality? im mean really? whats it to u if im happy?im with someone who loves me for me. im with someone who knows how to appreciate and fully accepts me even when she doesnt get me!

so how about this... if u wanna title me than title me "HAPpy!!" cuz rather im attracted to him or her! its all apart of where i feel im ment to be and for that im blessed to say i have accepted me!

so i am bi-sexual, lesbian, or striaght just hooping on the trend of liking women? who cares.. it dont matter to me! y because damn it i am "HAPPy!!"

When u Began 2 Fade 4rm Me

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

WHEN U BEGAN 2 FADE 4RM ME I REMEMBER STARTING TO FEEL THE DISTANCE IN UR KISS, REMEMBERING HOW THE PASSION IN UR TOUCH BEGAN TO FADE. WHEN THE LOVE IN UR EYES BECAME LOOKS OF CONFUSSION AND WHEN U STARTED CALLING ME BY MY NAME. NO MORE MAMA OR BABE, I REMEMBER THESE DAYS. UR I LOVE U'S BECAME JUST A HABIT. NO LONGER SAID WITH COMPASSION. UR I MISS U'S BECAME "I MISS U 2" AND UR PHONE CALLS BECAME JUST CHECKIN IN CALLS AND NO MORE "HEY BABY HOWS UR DAY, IM THINKING OF U." IN SEEING ALL THSES SIGNS THERE STILL WAS NO WAY I COULD WALK AWAY. JUST CUZ U FELL OUTTA LOVE DOESNT MEAN I WAS. THOUGHT BY STAYING, TALKING AND CRYING I MADE THIS CLEAR. NOW I SIT BACK AND WATCH U DO UR THING. YET STILL C UR PAIN. SORRY, I COULDNT HELP U HEAL, I WISH U HAPPINESS STILL MY DEAR! BUT AS CONTINUE TO FADE, REMEMBER THE SHIT U USED TO SAY! I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THERE. IM THE ONE WHO CONTINUES TO BE HERE!

listen to me on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDJ9mDlcrYw

Pen & Pad

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pen pad Current mood: grateful Category: Writing and Poetry

4 sum ppl all they have is a pen n pad!! Dnt get me wrong cuz I ＬöＶë a lyrical mind but I find it kinda sad. Im finding that most r using this as their only form on communication. But did I mention that its sad...
((this is all they have.))
What happened to speaking frm the heart? now ppl r choosing to write instead of communicate in person. So words are pre thought and edited. I think its a way of speaking with caution, playing it on the safe side. Cuz they r afraid they may say the wrong shit out of confusion. So words are pre thought and edited.
Dnt get me wrong its a great way of expression. Cuz I to do write in hopes some1 can relate to it. But I never for a second forget that poetry is spit for a reason.
((expression))
But I find it sad for some ppl a pen and pad is ALL they have! Where are the parents? y are kids growing up with so many secrets. Hidding in closets ashamed of who they might be. Talking to their parents will never happen they won't accept it. So its back to poetry.
Abuse physical or mental of any kind. Won't talk about it cuz ur afraid no1 will understand so its back to writing rhymes in 3rd person hoping some1 will say they understood every word of it. I just think its sad that for some ppl a pen and pad is they have.
I mean don't get me wrong I ＬöＶë a lyrical mind and im glad that u have this talent as an outlet and in the mist of it u may just touch someone who can relate to it..
I know u just need to vent so u write down in rhymes and metaphors to share ur life in any way you can put it.
But lets admit it. Don't u find it sad that a pen and paper is all we have 2 express what others close to us just might not understand!?!

fuk luv Current mood: bored Category: Writing and Poetry

I posted sticky notes all over my inner me.
[Heart]- dnt let her enter!!
((she won't know wat to do wit. ))
I shoulda listened.
[Right side of my brain]- dnt relate to her cuz soon ur poems will be all about her.
Now I find everything I write refers back to u.
((2 outta 2 im losing... ))
shall I continue?
Get my drift.
I let u in.
Fuck it!
middle finger in the air same 1 I fucked u with.
Catch ur nutt.
Drip down my hand as I make ＬöＶë to u with my middle finger in u...
sayin fuck ＬöＶë. My ＬöＶë forever dis-owne's u.
So I placed my tongue on u...
ate thru u..
Layer by layer...
tasted the bitter and sour layers..
How many licks til I get 2 where the real u shines thru.
Soft and sweet never happened so back to my middle finger as I fucked ＬöＶë into u.
Isn't that the same finger u used to fuck me 2?
Who gets wat im tryin 2 say?

Comment it and let me know... hahaha


yes i do girls!!!

i feel that

I feel that Current mood:blah Category: Writing and Poetry

I sit in a daze quoting over and over again lines from other poets poetry. Thinking one day that poet wont have shit on me...Saying yeah I feel that... Why wasn't I able to explain such a thing... and than it hit me. Maybe I was put here to spit in a simple way for u simple minded ppl to have something ur able to relate... tooor maybe I just haven't got to a stage where I can futher explain the depths of my pain cuz my heart aint ready to be intune with my minds kreeative side.There is emotion in poetry and I write frm the heart.But when the heart hurts and feels what the mind just cant relate to than really what runs thru my mind if its the mind that gives off the sensation to feel the emotions. Fuck I dnt get it.So I download all these lyrics and rock out to the beats and feel their 16 bars and think I know this person just off some bullshit connection I think I felt off a verse that hit so hard I feel like damn thats how I felt. I become fans of others cuz I have no belief in my own let alone myself. So I comment and complient everyone elses shit and say stay tuned to mine cuz some day my shit will b so deep it'll blow ur mind. As of now I feel out of loss of words and the pain lays deep within. Cuz though I go on each day guess I never really have gotten over the pain!

Emotion N Poetry

Emotion N Poetry- ily Current mood: chill Category: Writing and Poetry

poetry in motion-listen as i explain to the emotion in "my" poetry-
its like when a feeling comes thru words form to express what just cant roll off the tip of my tongue.
Becoming an emotion u just cant get out of your mind til you let ur poetic pen hit the sheet of paper in a book of chapters i often leave open for those who are interested.
But damn it, enter with caution cuz theres emotion is this poetic passion.
Dnt just read what is layed out for u to skim thru.
Read between the lines becuz thats where the truth lies,
waiting for u to see the big picture of the lil picture i poetically put together for u!
{{I LOVE POETRY!}}
The meaning is different than the everyday Poetry in Motion.
Its the emotion in poetry that captures me.
I go thru my ups and downs with poetry.
I let my pen cry for me and the ink bleeds yelling out thru Poetry at Poetry cuz poetically my words just arent together.
It takes work to stay in love with poetry.
And each time I sit down to write Im ready to take on that challenge...
the out come is usually worth it.
Even the days when it seems my pen ran outta ink and I feel I have no words left to speak.
I shift my mentality and it comes back to me.
cuz theres emotion in poetry and thats everything to me!
I call my poetry "She" becuz "She" will forever be who i love.
There is emotion in poetry and I love it.
To walk away is to walk away frm a love to deep to supress.
"Follow/listen to your heart" but does the heart ever really think logically?So thats usually how my writers block forms.
When my heart n mind are not in tune...
I see y we will never have the same understanding.
but i still love MY poetry!
Cuz when I say I love u my love is everlasting!
Maybe, possibly, my pen may give up on me.
But there will forever be emotion in poetry.
cuz everyday is Poetry in Motion and the experiences in everyday life is the emotion in the poetry...smiles form,hearts break, words are yelled, tears are cried, life isnt just life without the beauty in these lessons learned.
so Poetry in Motion is nothing without the emotion in poetry!

New 2 Dis

im new to this site kree'ated it @ about 12am this morning and now im back on to try and blog with nothing to really say besides follow me!

Twitter/k4dasoul22 :)