Sunday, August 1, 2010

The rejection sticks like a knife in my back, remove with caution or else the bleeding may not stop! I'm bleeding to death! Do u care enough to stop it? U can't and won't try so I bleed 2 death. Loving u was my life sentence! Brought my soul to its grave. God where are u? The devil won this battle! N u have the nerve to ask "what's the matter?" RIP Krees soul has left. I feel my heart beat but it doesnt beat the same! My undying love is now my dying love. Cuz with each breath for u I breathe its killing me! Broken clocks and not enough time n a hour class so there's no time for this healing. Just taking with me the baggage frm yesterday and hope I drop loads along the way so that my soul rebirths a new spiritual awakening within me so some day all this pain will be worth having my happy ending! Even if just for a moment, ill take what bit of real true happiness I can get and know this hurt was all worth it!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

when something so beautiful is starting you never picture it ending
but here we are 2cap2getha4eva that wat i said
wish i woulda met u in another life time cuz this one wasnt ment
crazy though cuz i really dnt know wat happened
wheres all the time spent
none of it means shit since u moved on again
wheres the joy we onced shared
its gone!
what scares me the most is that u could possibly feel this way someday
and baby karmas a bitch
and no i dnt wish this but it is what it is- thats wat u said
would, coulda, shoulda ...but we didnt right
look me in my eyes
why cant u look me in my eyes
the pain lays deep inside
the passion has left
the rejection sticks
unconditional love..yes
trust.. idk possibly never again
my apologies for this last fucked up year we lived
but thats no excuse for what u did
my heart melted cant even say it was shattered
does she love u with the pain that i do
will she always and forever continue to
she loves u with all her heart
my love include my soul too
this time there is no picking up the pieces
im remodling
with my own two hands for as long as it takes
being alone is good for the soul
to bad that u will never know
i would never try and take from ur happiness
plz understand i had good intentions that just never came to be what they were ment to be fast enough for u stay inlove with me
but no more tears down my facial
no more early morning calls and late night text
no more wondering what if
my heart is now being remolded and with no baggage
but remember this...
our first kiss
the loft
the love
the joy
the acceptance
the first apartment
remember the good times and kiss the bad goodbye
cuz who i am today is not focusing on the negative rather the positive

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Heart Beat

Why does my heart feel like its been put together with super glue that dissolved when my tears dripped over it zizzling my heart to pieces. These fuckin tears burned as they ran down my facial, leaving me with permant scars on my cheeck bones once u made my eyes fill with tears that I couldnt hold frm flowing down my chin drippin down to my chest these tears fell buring a hole thru to my heart dissolving my super glue.

I thought I was thru!!! Her love reminds me of you. Not becuz ur once shallow love was anything close to what she offers but becuz I wonder why she cant be you or better yet why you cant be her? I see myself going thru this pattern of hurt and I just cant do it anymore.. I cant let her ... her love me how she does so openly. Cuz your love taught me thats not how love is supposed to be.

Where's the intensity if no names have been yelled from across the street? "where are u going?!? Come back to me!" Or if no shoving matches and shake up's are there to assure u that its real u do feel something Kree.

So I ponder on ways to bring her close to me and than reject her love in the very same moment she says " I love you baby" *eyes wide open* Yeah thats what she once said to me!
I gotta get my heart out of my minds places cuz the 2 are never on the same page. I am going insane and I am draggin my heart thru the pain!

Tell me does love age? Cuz I been searching for an experation date so I can let you go and through you away and love myself again so that when she wants to love me I cant let her in! You killing me!! My soul was brought to life when I ment her. Than it died when I realized I was scared to love her..

She told me that my slow heart beat makes her think and I said Im just being cautious baby thats all it means. Than my shoulders shrink and my head hung low cuz Im growing to fall inlove with her pussy and leave her heart alone! Than I wont have to worry If her heart beat is fast or slow...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

My KreeAtive Costume

My 2009 Costume as OCTOMOM!!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I see my life being artistically painted thru ur words.
Lyrically formatted frm experiences u been thru and feel.
And like lauren ur "killing me softly" but though lyrically ur brilliant y b so ignorant to what lays infront of u?
Heart exposed, flip thru it like an open book.
But u hated school.
So u skimmed thru only reading up on what interest u.
Bet u failed ur reading and comprehension test.
I studied u and watch ur every move.
Knew when ur smile was really a cry.
And when u crying thru ur lyrics was ur joy cuz misery loves company.
(I met u.) Get it? I doubt it.
Fuk Luv
Current mood: bored
Category: Writing and Poetry

I posted sticky notes all over my inner me.

[Heart]- dnt let her enter!! she won't know wat to do wit. I shoulda listened.
[Right side of my brain]- dnt relate to her cuz soon ur poems will be all about her.

Now I find everything I write refers back to u. 2 outta 2 im losing... shall I continue.
Get my drift. I let u in. Fuck it!

Middle finger in the air same 1 I fucked u with.
Catch ur nutt.
Drip down my hand as I make LöVë to u with my middle finger in u...

Sayin Fuck LöVë!
My LöVë forever dis-owne's u.

So I placed my tongue on u...
ate thru u..
Layer by layer...
tasted the bitter and sour layers..
How many licks til I get 2 where the real u shines thru?
Soft and sweet never happened so its back to my middle finger as I fucked LöVë into u.

Isn't that the same finger u used to fuck me 2?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

untitled oct. 6th 09

As I grew up with so much anger they always told me to OPEN my eyes to the brighter side. "Ppl want to be nice to you Kree" (yeah right) assuming the worst at all times. Telling me Im causing my own SELF DESTRUCTION. Key word. Self.
But Eff U! Shit if only u knew. Fuck the ones who I gave my heart to. Regret? Neva. But go backwards? Neva. "If I could take it all back I neva would. Had u not of brought me to this heartache I might not have learned." Cuz what I did to them came back around and that shit hurt.
I was dealt my cards that were full of Jokers, Jacks and Queens. My hand wasnt dealt with Kings. So I guess the Jokers are where most of u fit in and also the part of my life that covers my pain and frm the Jacks I let into my life who came and left after they yelled out my name when it felt good and when they needed Kree to help keep them sane. N when u foe's smiled in my face but only came around cuz my struggles made ur's seem easier. I found a card in the deck was a 3 of hearts for each love I experienced with Him, Her and my now Queen.
I know if we learn to open our minds so will our hearts at the point where anyone is someone we can learn from. So far Im learning to take responsibility for my failures instead of pointing the finger. I sang songs in my head dreaming of a love to come 2 me and neva let go.
I listened to ppl try to "kreeate" lyrics to a soundtrack of my life as if I dnt fuck know. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I opened my heart to past loves like and open book, exposing what I thought they'd take into consideration for the walls that have over the years formed around my heart. (i started wearing long sleeves)
I fell and I got back up faster than u thought cuz I'd be damned if I let u kick me while I was down. I painted a mask on my face in different shades and became a chameleon. Blending in with whatever crowd I was placed in cuz I was scared to stand out avoiding attention. Wore sun glasses to avoid eye contact.
Was handed a camera to snap shots of picture perfect families into my memory 2 understand for my unborn child what a family was supposed to be. But that shit made me angery. Thats when I said fuck it! Ill just learn to better my poetry and hope that I'll have something to go back and read as I work on me!