Heart Beat

Why does my heart feel like its been put together with super glue that dissolved when my tears dripped over it zizzling my heart to pieces. These fuckin tears burned as they ran down my facial, leaving me with permant scars on my cheeck bones once u made my eyes fill with tears that I couldnt hold frm flowing down my chin drippin down to my chest these tears fell buring a hole thru to my heart dissolving my super glue.

I thought I was thru!!! Her love reminds me of you. Not becuz ur once shallow love was anything close to what she offers but becuz I wonder why she cant be you or better yet why you cant be her? I see myself going thru this pattern of hurt and I just cant do it anymore.. I cant let her ... her love me how she does so openly. Cuz your love taught me thats not how love is supposed to be.

Where's the intensity if no names have been yelled from across the street? "where are u going?!? Come back to me!" Or if no shoving matches and shake up's are there to assure u that its real u do feel something Kree.

So I ponder on ways to bring her close to me and than reject her love in the very same moment she says " I love you baby" *eyes wide open* Yeah thats what she once said to me!
I gotta get my heart out of my minds places cuz the 2 are never on the same page. I am going insane and I am draggin my heart thru the pain!

Tell me does love age? Cuz I been searching for an experation date so I can let you go and through you away and love myself again so that when she wants to love me I cant let her in! You killing me!! My soul was brought to life when I ment her. Than it died when I realized I was scared to love her..

She told me that my slow heart beat makes her think and I said Im just being cautious baby thats all it means. Than my shoulders shrink and my head hung low cuz Im growing to fall inlove with her pussy and leave her heart alone! Than I wont have to worry If her heart beat is fast or slow...

My KreeAtive Costume

My 2009 Costume as OCTOMOM!!!!

I see my life being artistically painted thru ur words.
Lyrically formatted frm experiences u been thru and feel.
And like lauren ur "killing me softly" but though lyrically ur brilliant y b so ignorant to what lays infront of u?
Heart exposed, flip thru it like an open book.
But u hated school.
So u skimmed thru only reading up on what interest u.
Bet u failed ur reading and comprehension test.
I studied u and watch ur every move.
Knew when ur smile was really a cry.
And when u crying thru ur lyrics was ur joy cuz misery loves company.
(I met u.) Get it? I doubt it.

Fuk Luv
Current mood: bored
Category: Writing and Poetry

I posted sticky notes all over my inner me.
[Heart]- dnt let her enter!! she won't know wat to do wit. I shoulda listened.
[Right side of my brain]- dnt relate to her cuz soon ur poems will be all about her.

Now I find everything I write refers back to u. 2 outta 2 im losing... shall I continue.
Get my drift. I let u in. Fuck it!

Middle finger in the air same 1 I fucked u with.
Catch ur nutt.
Drip down my hand as I make ＬöＶë to u with my middle finger in u...

Sayin Fuck ＬöＶë!
My ＬöＶë forever dis-owne's u.

So I placed my tongue on u...
ate thru u..
Layer by layer...
tasted the bitter and sour layers..
How many licks til I get 2 where the real u shines thru?
Soft and sweet never happened so its back to my middle finger as I fucked ＬöＶë into u.

Isn't that the same finger u used to fuck me 2?

untitled oct. 6th 09

As I grew up with so much anger they always told me to OPEN my eyes to the brighter side. "Ppl want to be nice to you Kree" (yeah right) assuming the worst at all times. Telling me Im causing my own SELF DESTRUCTION. Key word. Self.

But Eff U! Shit if only u knew. Fuck the ones who I gave my heart to. Regret? Neva. But go backwards? Neva. "If I could take it all back I neva would. Had u not of brought me to this heartache I might not have learned." Cuz what I did to them came back around and that shit hurt.

I was dealt my cards that were full of Jokers, Jacks and Queens. My hand wasnt dealt with Kings. So I guess the Jokers are where most of u fit in and also the part of my life that covers my pain and frm the Jacks I let into my life who came and left after they yelled out my name when it felt good and when they needed Kree to help keep them sane. N when u foe's smiled in my face but only came around cuz my struggles made ur's seem easier. I found a card in the deck was a 3 of hearts for each love I experienced with Him, Her and my now Queen.

I know if we learn to open our minds so will our hearts at the point where anyone is someone we can learn from. So far Im learning to take responsibility for my failures instead of pointing the finger. I sang songs in my head dreaming of a love to come 2 me and neva let go.

I listened to ppl try to "kreeate" lyrics to a soundtrack of my life as if I dnt fuck know. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I opened my heart to past loves like and open book, exposing what I thought they'd take into consideration for the walls that have over the years formed around my heart. (i started wearing long sleeves)

I fell and I got back up faster than u thought cuz I'd be damned if I let u kick me while I was down. I painted a mask on my face in different shades and became a chameleon. Blending in with whatever crowd I was placed in cuz I was scared to stand out avoiding attention. Wore sun glasses to avoid eye contact.

Was handed a camera to snap shots of picture perfect families into my memory 2 understand for my unborn child what a family was supposed to be. But that shit made me angery. Thats when I said fuck it! Ill just learn to better my poetry and hope that I'll have something to go back and read as I work on me!

Private thoughts

(sings) "I'll always thinkg of u inside of my private thoughts. The very thought of u makes me wanna get undressed. I wanna be with u inspite of what my heart says"

- Man aint that the truth! What I would give for 1 more chance at romance. Thoughts of u having ur hand gulide across my thigh as u reach behind my neck than into my pants, pulling me in tight and im holding ur heart once again in my hands.

U can leave the relationship but nooo baby!! Not the sex! Lets admit we can still do it, I mean who has to know? Its not the sex that didnt workout. It was the relationship! SHIT!!!

Please excuse my private thoughts, i mean im taken ur taken. But, fuck who cares?? LEts just be naked. Yeah I said it! Cuz I usually always think of u inside of my private thoughts. Find myself wanting to go on walks just so that i can let my mind run loose with thoughts of u.

Imagining u walking along side me. Dang I miss u baby. Aint it something how no amount of words can take us back to where we used to be and no amount of explaining will really say what u really mean. So I imagine..

I let my mind do wat it does best... think! If I close my eyes ur beautiful face I can visualize n at times my mind does cross lines and I see how our bodies used to fit together.

But I refuse to be a female wishing on a star, or allowing myself to lose my sanity. So i dust this off, its just a feeling!! Nevermind my private thoughts!!!

time wasted

7 yrs and this is how u go about things.. 7 yrs of feelings.. 7 yrs of time wasted. All that for nothing? I paid u respect thru all ur little phases. Patiently waited. Not even enough decentcy to call and tell me? Every1 but me knew.. It wasnt even u who told finally told me. Sure we had out ups and downs. Yes we've had chances with others and even almost did. Time waits for no1 isnt that wat u said? Guess u ment it. So many times we drifted. I found a love or two but so did u. Back in each others lives. We had the chance. Take it slow is wat i told u. But all that talk was just that!! I wasnt ready my heart was still hurting. And u took that wound and cut it deeper! U say I havent Changed. But Nigga, ur the Playa. Better her than me!! (now she has ur baby)